i miss all the places i'll never go again.

it's strange... when compared to others, my travels so far have been very minimal. i guess it's a way that we deal with our mortality - to honestly believe that when we visit a place we like, that we'll visit again. I just sorted through my maps. For those of you who don't know, I collect maps. The free ones put out by the ministry of transportation for different states and provinces. I sorted through so many brochures and pamphlets for places that i meant to return to, that i wanted see again... but now i have to admit to myself that these things may not happen.

I can now understand what it is that ties a person to one place. This is how the last few weeks have been for me, excitement... so excited i can barely contain myself, but then i head to the other end of the spectrum and get really sentimental. Very Sentimental. When I think about it I get dizzy.

I know i've been planning on this trip for a while... saving and planning... now that it has arrived, well, the date is getting closer, i think of all the little routines that i've grown accustomed to and i miss them. Maybe I'm being a bit of a drama queen, but i just really need to say good-bye to this chapter of my life... say good-bye and look towards the future. A lot of discovery is coming up over the next year. New places to see, and hopefully much opportunity for self growth.


this is huge. i wouldn't describe myself as stressed, but i think damian sure would! besides that, i've given myself some sort of repetitive-stress-trying-to-hard type of injury from the gym. that was the "oh my god i'm going on a roadtrip i have to train really hard" period of time that passed. my skin has decided to break out, my hair is always floppy and bad, and sometimes i feel like crying. and sometimes i do cry. maybe i'm staying home too much.

it's a month to go... i feel bad for "abandoning" the people i work with although they DO pay me to be there, and they'll pay another person to do my job and eventually I'll be forgotten.

I'm in the eye of the hurricane as far as preparations go. I've sold off just about everything i wanted to sell, cleaned out just about all the junk i wanted to give away, it feels like there's nothing left to do but pack the car. And it's a bit too early to pack up the car.

in other news, i have to get my wisdom teeth extracted. That's the term the surgeon corrected me with when i said "so i have to get my wisdom teeth yanked?"
i'm not looking forward to it - if you do look forward to getting your wisdom teeth yanked, then there's probably something not quite right with you mentally.

damn do i ever not want to go to work tomorrow. i just feel like staying home and hiding under the bed.