sunshine and lollipops

we were blessed with a sandstorm last night. i slept with earplugs in since there were a few rowdy groups of inebriated climbers that threatened my sleep. i'm still in shock at the state of the campsite. absolutely everything that i left on the picnic table was on the ground buried in sand. it's just strange since normally winds this violent are part of the weather forecast, so i've been prepared for them in the past. i wasn't able to caffeinate myself fast enough today since i had to scrape the sand out of my coffee press and water boiling pot before i could even start the holy process of coffee brewing.

there is a very fine sand everywhere. my tent is a four season high quality one from mec, but i think it's designed more to keep snow out instead of sand. trying to do up the zippers on the fly or body pump out my already fatigued from two days on climber arms.

sand is just a fact of life when you're living in the desert. i call it Vitamin S since it's mixed into all food and drink by default. it's the bonus ingredient in everything you cook. when i wake up i can smell it and taste it.

i may climb today, but it will be my third day on. i'm being hard on myself since the bakery at the local market appears to be my kryptonite. they have these little chocolate muffins which are more of a devil's food cake consistency... spending even $2 there one can load up on all sorts of delectable goodies. my climbing has been hit or miss lately and i need something to blame it on. i'm blaming the sweets. i'm trying to exercise some self control to not go to the market. this plan is backfiring since i'm slowly running out of groceries. jessica cannot live on soymilk alone.

i'm doing some sleuthing since i really can't figure out how to reach my peak performance on the climbing here. i feel strong and then watch myself let go. there always seems to be something in the way and i really need to learn how to clear my mind and just focus focus on the moves. i've been out with tours lately, and that gives me the excuse that having to climb with 10 people makes it difficult to take a turn. otherwise i feel too cold (in the shade) or the holds are too warm (in the sun). excuses excuses. today will be my third day on which is probably kind of stupid since my tips are fried. fried, shredded, and somewhat scary in appearance. but no, i'm stubborn and i'm going to keep on climbing until i can figure out how to rock the casbah on the rock here.

to the innocent bystander, it may appear that being on a roadtrip solely to climb is all sunshine and lollipops. most of the time it's pure 100% unadulterated fun, but it's tough not to take climbing seriously when it's really all i have to do. this is my career right now, and my results are inconsistent. it feels like i'm constently on problems that highlight my weaknesses - a few powerful moves on small holds to a big throw. i can't seem to learn how to throw if it's on a vertical plane. give me overhangs or give me death!

it may sound like i'm being hard on myself but really i think most of us climb for the constant challenge. i'm not going to run around on easy problems all day just for the feeling of finishing something. some days i only finish 2 of the 10 problems i attempt. it just feels like there's some secret to unlock my abilities in climbing. it's a constant struggle for most of us - always pushing our limits and trying to learn new moves so they may be added to our repertoire.

so i'm going climbing again today even though it's my third day on. i tell myself that i'll just tape up my raw fingertips and play on easy stuff... but i know i'll be hurling myself full force at the first tricky problem i encounter. there must be a secret to climbing and i'm determined to find it. is it my diet? how well i sleep? do i need to be freshly showered with my hair done? is it something i wear? is it all confidence related?

well, i've got to get to work. the rock is calling me and i must go earn my rest day tomorrow. and maybe a chocolate muffin..