i can see for miles

My last day in flagstaff I wrote two words on a page of my journal: get lost. This is one of my pet peeves, and i decided to put myself through it on purpose. The sociological science experiment that i am conducting on myself continues. I spent the day driving around the city and learned to be okay with not knowing precisely where i am. I stumbled upon a few interesting stores to poke in, and I felt like I really got to know the city. I thought of little errands to run: find a cafe, and buy stickers for the car.

The morning I left flagstaff was very grey and cold. I ordered too large of a coffee at the local café and said farewell to the coolest town ever with a good quality brew. As I hit the road I felt as grey as the skies above, but as time went on I could feel the road take its hold on me again. The excitement builds as I realize that I am going to a state I’ve never been in before, via a route I didn’t spend a lot of time planning. I am going to Joshua tree.

The drive went a lot faster than I had anticipated. It's a very straight and downhill drive so i drove with my notebook on my lap, just writing down whatever came into my head. I am probably having the time of my life. I've always thought in words and full sentences, so i wrote page after page while watching the landscape tranform from plush mountain forest to scarred desert. I think about the last ten years of my life and how that on this trip I’ve really learned how to float - to be an observer and follow the currents of life.

As i drove into Joshua tree, I found that it looked nothing like I expected. It is around 4,000 feet and is a large park that encompasses many mountains. I was expecting open desert with little marble-like granite boulders scattered to and fro. This place is huge.

I drove around the campground and was happy to see cars that belonged to some friends I made in hueco. I’ve emerged from my time alone in the woods and I’m ready to be social again. We had a great reunion, but I still passed up their offer to go climbing that afternoon. Instead I drove into town, sort of to get my bearings. I ran some contrived errands and realized that I was in a mild form of shock – shock at having finally made it to Joshua tree. I have been trying to make it here for three years, and now here i am just driving around like it's just another day. As I drove back into the park, I realized something: I’m coming home to Joshua tree. I have finally made it here, I have traded the forest of trees for one of rocks. This place has such an energy and I can’t believe I finally made it.