here i am

i'm sitting in my apartment, just looking around. every so often i just sit and consider how much my life has changed in the last 6 months. Yes, in only six short months, you can change your entire being!

I've started a job that, when I describe it to people, sounds like a dream job. It's less money than I was making in Toronto, but I just had a few months of living in my car and stressing about the price of bread, eating mayonaise that had been in the cooler for 2 months, and sneaking into continental breakfasts at hotels. I'm working in an office again - something that I swore that I'd never do again - but it's different. I can wear what I want to work, and there's a good mix of familiar work and a brand new career path. It's a small company who provides a lot of perks for the employees in exchange for hard work. The office is in loft space with floor to ceiling windows. I look up from my monitor and see the mountains along the coast. I think I like it there.

I was honestly concerned that when I finished the trip and began my re-entry to civilization, that I would snap back into the person I was before the trip. All the life lessons and truths would be lost and erased. So far it isnt' so, and it's taken a lot of work. I still love meeting new people, and I still like to see what I can learn about myself as I learn about them. When I was unemployed I stood and chatted with an eccentric gentleman for about 20 minutes on the street. When speaking with a complete stranger, you can say whatever you'd like. I'm always careful to be nice, but it's a great opportunity to throw anything into the conversation. See how they react. See how their first impression of me was, and how I can mold that impression based on what I say. I learned a lot about people on the trip, and it's fun to see if my first impressions of them were accurate.

It's still pretty hard at times, of course. Sometimes the entire situation is very overwelming, and sometimes I mistake being overtired for being sad. All I need is a little time just to myself with nothing to do. On the trip I perfected the art of sitting around, and it's something I need in my life.

It's great to be a cycle commuter again. Vancouver is very bike-friendly, and I love the exercise. I spent so much time in the car on my trip though, I'm looking forward to going climbing this weekend. Climbing and I have had a love-hate relationship since the roadtrip - the complete opposite of what I and most others were expecting. I've had to pull back from it a bit, and I was really hoping I would find some other sports. Well, there's alot to do out here and with any new sport I'll be, well, a newbie. So instead of turning into a beach bum who goes to the gym, I'm going climbing everyday this weekend. When absolutely everything else in my life is brand new, at least climbing is familiar.